


Slightly Rearranged

by sarahcakes613



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Arranged Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24275773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613
Summary: Rafael Barba has to marry a Carisi to break a magical link between their two families.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 57
Collections: Marriage Barisi Bingo





	Slightly Rearranged

**Author's Note:**

> CW for a homophobic slur in the second paragraph.
> 
> According to Wiki, a Monaciello is a fairy spirit native to Italy. This one happened to marry a nice human girl and settle down and now he has four grandchildren.
> 
> As always, Spanish and Italian are via Google Translate and if it's horribly wrong, please feel free to correct me!

“ _No es tan malo, mijo.”_ Lucia whispers to her son. “ _Tienen tres hijas. Puedes elegir a quien quieras._ ”

“It is absolutely that bad, mami,” Rafael hisses, not bothering to hide his frustration in another language. “Besides, I realize it’s one of life’s biggest disappointments, but I’m still _un maricón,_ remember?”

On his other side, his father mutters through a pasted-on grin. “So choose the one that looks most like a boy and close your eyes, Rafael, you will not fuck this up for us.”

This is an agreement that dates back 25 years and three generations, when Rafael’s _abuelo_ had saved the life of some poor lost greenhorn and discovered that helping one of the _Monaciello_ meant they were now connected via a magic string, one that would dangle between them until a knot could be tied in it.

Rafael is barely out of law school but the youngest of the _Monaciello_ ’s granddaughters has just come of age and now he has to choose, so here he is, seated awkwardly on the edge of a chair across from three girls all younger than him, none of whom look any more excited to be here than he is, and he’s expected to choose one of them to marry to finally break the mystical link that ties these two families together.

The girls mother walks into the room with a tray of coffee cups, her son following behind with her with a large carafe. He’s all gangly legs and floppy hair and he’s got a fading sunburn that casts a pink glow across his cheeks. Rafael’s eyes drop to his ass when he leans over to pour some coffee for one of his sisters.

A dry crackle of laughter snaps him to attention and his gaze is drawn over to the source of his entire predicament. The _Monaciello_ , the elderly Mr. Carisi, is watching him, his eyes glinting with a manic humour.

“ _Ho solo detto di sposarmi_ ,” he coughs out. His family all looks at him, confused.

“What did you say, nonno?” The middle granddaughter asks. She’s playing with a ring on a chain around her neck, and Rafael feels a pang of sympathy for her. He won’t choose her unless he absolutely has to.

“ _Ho solo detto di sposarmi,_ ” he repeats, and then, “ _non ho mai detto a chi. Non deve essere una ragazza, eh?_ ” He punctuates his little speech with a nod and another dry cough.

Lucia and Edgar Barba look to the Carisis for translation, but Rafael thinks he knows what the old man is implying. The various reactions around the room prove him right. Mrs. Carisi is shooting him alarmed looks, the middle granddaughter looks quietly relieved, and her brother is standing frozen, hand clenched so tightly around the carafe handle that his knuckles are white.

The tableau is so absurd that Rafael starts laughing, a high-pitched hysterical laugh. He stands, waving away his mothers hands, and excuses himself, still laughing as he basically falls out onto the front porch. His laugh turns into a wheeze as he tries to light a cigarette, hands shaking with adrenaline. He fumbles with his matchbook and strikes out twice before there is a flick of a lighter in front of him and he inhales deeply. He looks up to thank his benefactor and green eyes meet blue as he finds himself face to face with the grandson.

“I’m Sonny,” he introduces himself. Rafael nods slowly.

“You like baseball?”

Rafael stares at him. “I’m not really a sports person.”

Sonny shrugs. “So, what kinda person are you?”

Rafael doesn’t have an answer.

Sonny heaves a deep sigh. “Look, our parents are in there right now writing out some kinda marriage contract and I’m gonna need something to work with if I’m supposed to marry you when I graduate.”

“Jesus, you’re still in school?” Rafael is horrified.

“No, I mean yeah, but not like, high school or anythin’. I’m in the police academy. I wanna be a homicide detective.”

He’s too fresh-faced, too sweet looking to be a cop, Rafael wants to say. His eyes are too trusting.

“I’m working for the Brooklyn DA’s office,” Rafael offers. “Mostly second chair, but I’m still new.”

“A lawyer, huh?” Sonny smirks. “A lawyer and a cop, we could be a real power couple.”

Rafael takes another drag of his cigarette and lets the smoke burn out through his nose.

“We’ll be a fucking laughingstock if people ever find out _why_ we’re married.” Rafael has goals, he has a vision, and there is no space in his vision for people treating him differently because his grandfather was a good Samaritan to the wrong person and he’s now been saddled with a near-teenager for a husband.

Sonny shrugs, flicking his lighter off and on. “So we don’t tell ‘em. We can say it was love at first sight. Or we don’t say anything, just let people think we’re dating. We don’t need to wear rings. It won’t even be an issue at work, I want to work here, at home, so we wouldn't be working the same cases.”

“You want to stay on Staten Island?” Rafael asks, horrified. “I can’t live on Staten Island; it took us almost an hour to get here and that was without morning traffic!”

Sonny frowns. “Where do you live?”

“In the Bronx, I’m…I’m living with my grandmother, just while I look for an apartment in Brooklyn.” Rafael stammers, somewhat embarrassed to be a grown man living with his grandmother, but Sonny doesn’t seem to notice or care.

“Have you looked around Bensonhurst? I don’t know if you gotta church up in the Bronx but I like the one here, and that’s right near the bridge.”

Rafael is floored at how easily Sonny seems to be taking this entire upheaval to his life, and he says as much.

Sonny blushes and rubs the back of his neck.

“Well, sure, it’s a weird situation, but it’s also kind of romantic, I think. And you’re not exactly hard on the eyes.” He shrugs.

Rafael blinks.

“Uh, thanks?”

Sonny shrugs again. “It doesn’t hurt, just sayin’.”

Rafael nods. “Right, well, uh, you too.”

Sonny smirks. “Yeah, I figured that right about when I felt your eyes on my ass.”

Rafael flushes at that. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s a good ass.” He shimmies his hips a little, and Rafael laughs.

“I don’t mind watching skating,” He offers, suddenly. “During the Olympics. I like watching the skating. All kinds, although I’m not entirely clear on the rules of hockey.”

“Skating, huh?” Sonny considers him. “It’s not as good as baseball, but I can work with it.” He smiles widely, and his grin is an entire ray of sunshine, full wattage shining down on Rafael.

Maybe his mami was right, after all. _No es tan malo_ , indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Translations (again, as per the Google):
> 
> No es tan malo. Tienen tres hijas. Puedes elegir a quien quieras - It's not that bad. They have three daughters. You can choose which you want.
> 
> Ho solo detto di sposarmi, non ho mai detto a chi. Non deve essere una ragazza- I just said get married, I never said to whom. It doesn't have to be a girl.

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